One of the most discussed topics in the tech world, especially for developers, is soft skills. Why are these skills so important, is it not enough to be able to program as developers or create content as DevRels?
You must not forget that even in the world of tech, you are dealing with humans. Other people that you work, with have discussions and need to collaborate with. This comes with a certain set of skills that you need to possess, in order to be able to communicate your ideas and be able to understand your peers successfully.
The question then follows, how do you acquire these skills, and how to become aware of what you lack, and are strong in?
Let’s list them out.
Empathy
Communication
Responsibility
Adaptability
Networking
Trust
This list is not exhaustive and there are many other aspects you can add, but this is a good starting point.
Empathy
Why is empathy important? Does it mean you need to learn psychology to understand and help others out? No. Being empathetic does not mean you need to spend all your time helping and building others.
It means that when a time comes that one of your peers needs help, or a situation comes up that they need to attend to, you should be understanding and make sure you are available, within reason, to help them out.
A simple “Let me know how I can be of help”, or “Hey, text / call me when you need me, at any time”, “Is there anything I can help you with?” goes a long way.
This does not mean you need to drop everything that you do and finish their work, but it could mean showing up and building that relationship, where others know they can depend on you.
Do not overdo this, and make sure to listen for cues where people might want to take advantage of your kind heart. while we think of ourselves as rational, we are not, and most decisions are led with emotion. That doesn’t make it a bad decision, that just means that you need to consider everything before acting on things or saying things.
Which means you need to learn how to communicate.
Communication
Clear and concise communication is a fundamental aspect of soft skills. The ability to express your thoughts and feelings, ideas, and concerns in a manner that is easily understandable to others is essential for simplifying your life. Whether you're dealing with work, family, or friends, developing effective communication skills will prove beneficial in all aspects of your life.
This can be learned over time and is not “something you are born” with. A good way to see how you talk is to record yourself, and then practice talking in front of a mirror. This will help in public speaking, private speaking, meetings, and many other scenarios.
You don't have to be the "Bill Gates of speaking," but ensuring that you speak slowly if you're a fast talker, speaking louder if you are a quiet speaker, and addressing other aspects will benefit not only you but also those around you. This helps avoid miscommunication. Another way of practicing is joining Spaces on X, doing live streams on Twitch, or creating videos. You might be awkward and “weird” or shy at first, but I have known many shy people who shine on camera and in public. This also goes for “introverts”.
Another aspect of communication is also making sure you keep your work colleagues up to date of what you are doing, not being afraid to ask for help and convey any struggles or worries that you have. Make fast and precise communication a priority, this saves you and others time. That leads to you being responsible and someone people can trust.
Responsibility
You might be thinking “What does responsibility have to do with soft skills?”. Good question and the answer is: a lot.
Being responsible for something means people trust you to do the job / help them out with things. That means that you are being relied on and that people trust you to get it done. It then becomes a problem, if that trust is broken, be it by not finishing a task/project on time.
Being a responsible person means being mature, that you recognize and are aware of what needs to be done, and what you can do to avoid failing.
Does this also go well in real life? No. Things happen. You get sick, a colleague's dog eats his homework, you forget, etc. This is where communicating things on time comes in so that if you are struggling or need help / time, you make it known. By doing this you are responsible for, building reliability, which leads to trust. And we all feel the consequences of broken trust.
That is our next point 😉
Trust
We all know how hard it is to build trust, and how easy it is to break. Why is trust listed under Soft Skills? Just like with responsibility, trust is given to you by others, be it people at work, friends, or family. If people trust you, that means they can be more themselves and open to you.
Now I am not talking about the juicy secrets and rumors (ALWAYS keep the secrets, and even better, tell people “don’t tell me” when they ask “do you want to know a secret?”). Never gossip, and always speak well of people, especially behind their backs.
You might think no one knows, but everyone is aware of that one person who always speaks badly of everyone. They aren’t to be trusted.
Anyway, back to the topic.
With other humans being more open to you, means you can do more together. They trust you to be able to make mistakes, you or them, to win and fail together, to share ideas and thoughts, which opens many doors to business ideas, deeper relationships, and much more.
Being trustworthy is one of the best ways to build relationships. Because when people trust you, they will come to you.
Does this mean you always need to be on your toes and never make mistakes? No, it just means that you should listen, not make promises you cannot keep and that you should make sure to be there for when people need you.
It’s relatively easy to become trustworthy if you know what you are doing, but make sure that you do not break trust because that spreads like wildfire.
Speaking of wildfire, let’s talk about how to adapt to wild situations that might come up in life, personal and professional.
Adaptability
No, you don’t need to be able to jump through fire. You also don’t need to be available all the time. What you need to be though is adaptable to mental or physical change. A simple example could be work, where you have normal days that are calm, and suddenly problems spread on the work floor, just like wildfire.
This means being “stress-resistant”, coming up with solutions, being creative, and not backing down on challenges. Normalcy is good and predictable, but what will happen if suddenly you are let go, or something changes in your personal life?
How do you become adaptive is the question?
You build it over time. You get out of your comfort zone. You build a project that you have never done before. You take on one extra responsibility at work that you aren’t meant to do/don’t have the skills for (within reason!). You take on challenges in your own life that you haven’t before.
This doesn’t need to be complicated. It can mean that you go to sleep earlier, wake up early, hit the gym, read a book, take a 15-minute walk before starting your day, maybe a cold shower, etc.
Doing all these things will keep your mind and body sharp and ready for action, which will make sure you are not panicking or stressed because of change.
Most importantly, this will lead to you accomplishing more, which will result in higher degrees of self-confidence, which goes back to accomplishing more, ad infinitum.
Networking
Naturally following the previous points, networking comes after. With all the right skills and timing, networking can become your ultimate weapon.
What’s the saying again? Your network is your net worth? 100%. I’ve gotten more opportunities from my network (read: friends, colleagues, mentors, managers, followers/following, etc) than from sending my CV to someone.
Networking doesn’t have to be you suiting up and going to an event to shake hands with people wearing expensive watches. It could mean DMng someone on social media, having a coffee chat, catching up once a week with a simple…
Hey, what’s up? Anything new or cool you’re doing? Can I help with anything?
It could be your friend who knows another friend who needs help with a skill you have, a contact you know, or a blog post you wrote. Whichever network leads to opportunities, use that.
This goes back to trust and building that network using trust. Of course, watch out for those who will try to USE you and not work WITH you. But we humans are really good at picking up the social cues. Trust your gut, and build that network.
Think of the “car theory”. When you are trying to buy a certain car, you suddenly see it everywhere. But that’s because you started paying attention to it.
Do the same with networking and opportunities. They are everywhere, you just need to open your eyes and pay attention and MINDFULLY reach out to those.
Luck comes when work & preparation meets opportunity. Being yourself, or not.
This is a topic so deep that many people much smarter than I am have written books, essays, philosophical works, and so on. So take all of this al personal anecdotes and continue learning and improving.
Before I let you go to continue scrolling TikTok, I would love to touch on the topic of “be yourself”.
A controversial take that I disagree with.
In a way.
Don’t be a fake, but always strive to improve. It takes little work, and over time will have a compounding effect on you and your future. If you are not improving, you are not “staying the same way I was”. No, you are DEGRADING, you are going BACKWARDS. Because time goes forward.
Always strive to improve, stay true to yourself, and be yourself, but in the best way possible, not the lazy way of scrolling social media all day and by the time you’re 90, regretting many of your choices. The 1% better every day is a good rule to follow. And you will be happy you are putting in the effort, because if you get better, so does your surrounding, and so does your life.
Remember, be kind, don’t be a pushover or nice for the sake of being nice, don’t be fake, speak highly of your peers, stand firm but just, be reliable, help those in need, and work on improving yourself.
Because working on yourself is the ultimate soft skill.
Thanks for reading and let us know in the comments if you found this post helpful! 🙏
Amazing! All I want to say is "Thank you for sharing"